Down with UGGs!

Now for one of my absolute pet hates; UGG, or should I say UGGly boots. (Original, I know.) Sure, many will argue that they are the most comfortable shoes they own and they are super warm in the cold etc. etc., but after this argument, they have absolutely no more cards to play. This is definitely a risky post since so many people (including some blacklisted friends and family members of my own) have “invested” in a pair, but here we go nevertheless…

For a range of shoes that is specially created for the winter, I could not have handpicked a worse design myself with which to take on the elements. As soon as an UGG boot so much as sniffs the scent of rain in the air, it crumbles and cries and shouts “you go on ahead without me!”. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist; a shoe made entirely out of soft material will go soggy in the rain and the snow. Fact.

So we’ve established that we cannot wear our UGG boots in the winter… then when can we wear them? Not only are they completely impractical for the rainy half of the year, but they are also useless for the warmer half, offering nothing but the promise of imminent sweat and a bad, very bad smell.

8168508883 30364a98ac Down with UGGs!

Lucky you, you’ve stumbled across a weather appropriate day for you to wear your UGG boots! Here’s a tip for free: don’t wear them. If you don’t want to look like the back end of a pantomime horse in a pair of standard brown boots, then you’ll wind up looking like a clown or a Christmas decoration in a blinding and sickening pair like these golden lovelies instead. UGG boots are nothing more than a bad joke that has gone way too far – let’s put a stop to it!

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Top 5 Movie Makeovers

Mean Girls

The most popular and inspirational (or maybe just my favourite) film of all time is of course the story of ‘home-schooled jungle freak’, Cady Heron who makes a not so subtle transition from ordinary outsider to superficial slut. From muted checked shirts and denim jeans to mini skirts and hoop earrings, I’m sure Lindsay Lohan’s wardrobe must have been the size of Gretchen Wieners hair.

Princess Diaries

One of the most memorable makeover scenes of my childhood is the ultimate geek chic transformation of gawky schoolgirl Mia into the elegant Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldo, Princess of Genovia. It truly is amazing what a pair of straighteners, contact lenses and a camp Italian hairdresser can do for you. This real-life Cinderella story gives all us 90s girls hope that eventually our grans too will present us with a sparkling tiara and a country we’ve never heard of.

The Devil Wears Prada

Once again, Anne Hathaway shows us that beauty is just a brow-pluck and chanel handbag away, when frumpy Andy bows under the pressure of working at a fierce fashion magazine. Dresses, diets and deceit are all part of this unforgettable makeover from Anne Hathaway with a fresh face, to Anne Hathaway with caked-on make-up!


This generation defining film depicts the transformation from clueless cheerleader, Sandra-dee who don’t drink, don’t smoke and gets ill from one cigarette, to the chain-smoking, leather-clad rock-chick, to impress bad boy Danny.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

I remember watching this when I was 10 years old and not understanding any of the humour- but stick me in front of any film with a makeover scene and I’m sold! For those of you who somehow haven’t seen it, this film is about Toula, an aging Greek woman doomed to work in her family’s restaurant for the rest of her lonely life- that is until she discovers blusher and tweezers! Finally, the message sets into us girls at home, when Toula ditches the practical clothing for a super sexy new look and bags the man of her dreams, a grown-up job and the respect of her family all at once! So for all you ladies wondering why you’re single, unpopular and in a dead-end job, don’t panic, because if what all my favourite chick-flicks have taught me is true – a successful career and a loving relationship is just a push-up bra away!


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Hammer down on Hammer pants!

Okay guys, it’s only so long before I can stop ignoring the elephant in the room; that’s right it’s time to talk about the harem pant. They first appeared in 1990 with the release of MC Hammer’s ‘U Can’t Touch This’ (luckily I wasn’t even around at this point to witness such an atrocity)  – as all fashion fads do, they made an appearance, stayed for some polite conversation, made their excuses and promptly left, leaving behind a sigh of relief. And now we find ourselves in the year 2012, a year to look back on with pride and joy as we wave goodbye to the Olympic games and the Queen’s diamond Jubilee (congrats Queenie if you’re reading this!). But what ho? As we turn back around to greet the perspective ups and comings of 2013, we instead find ourselves face to face with fashion frustrations that are blocking us from moving forward. And leader of the pack is the haughty harem pant, which recently arose from the dead and just won’t go back to rest.
493573002 885b3f06fb Hammer down on Hammer pants!

I can understand the harem pant on a hip hop troop in the middle of an urban street setting; indeed, I’d even go as far to say they were an idea choice, allowing freedom of movement and cultural flair. But the notion that a girl is happy to walk down the street with thighs three times bigger than normal and a crotch that drags along the floorbehind her is one that I’m not-so-sorry to say I just can’t comprehend. Did anyone see Jennifer Anison’s drop-crotch jeans at LAX earlier this summer? Well I did, and if I had it my way she would have been shuffling through security in just her smalls as punishmentfor not having her head screwed on tight enough. This is one celebrity look that should be nipped in the bud asap, so ladies, pick your crotch up off the ground, gather all of the harems in sight and burn them at the steak. Viva la Revolution!

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Weird and Wonderful Shoes

I’ve recently discovered Klaus Niehaus, a shoe designer from Bavaria in the south of Germany. Klaus takes pairs of shoes and customises them using a huge range of materials and detailing. This means that each shoe is one-of-a-kind and nowhere else to be found. These extravagant designs make these shoes perfect for parties, events and any other time there’s an excuse to glam up to the max!

The ankle boots, ‘Bracelacegrace’, are customised with a feather boa and rhinestones. I would wear these shoes with a classic LBD! These funky shoes will set you back around €122. Not your average high street price but still affordable!

Another distinctive pair are the summery flowery high-heeled sandals known as ‘Ms. Blumel’ which are customised with artificial petals and flowers. I think these shoes would be great for a summer garden party or a wedding! Where would you wear them? At around €100, these are affordable too.

Finding new and individual designers is always exciting, but the old classics will always still remain. Here are some other slightly wacky shoes which have caught my eyes this season from the designers who run the shoe game. Finsk heels look amazing but would set you back almost £1,000 and I just can’t imagine being able to walk in them!

This red and white stripy pair from Ego and Greed is also something special, and I think they would look cool with a pair of denim shorts and a white top in the summer. At around £100, why not?!

And last, but certainly not least, this retro magazine shoe from Jeffrey Campbell is definitely something worth checking out:

Let me know what you think of these shoes guys or if you’ve seen any other cool designs which are worth a mention icon smile Weird and Wonderful Shoes have a great weekend! xxx

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The Human Coat Hanger

These shocking pictures of Romanian model Ioana Spangenberg have recently been made public. The 30 year old model claims her waist, which is an unbelievable 20 inches, is completely natural; i.e. she has had no plastic surgery and is not wearing any figure-enhancing clothing or corsets or anything in any of these pictures. According to Ioana, she eats 3 large meals a day and even snacks on chocolate and crisps to try and gain weight – do we believe her?

Now, she has turned to the modelling industry to flaunt her extreme curves; her 20 inch waist in comparison to her 32 inch hips. And she has been welcomed with open arms – solid proof that the fashion industry is still obsessed with stick thin, unhealthy looking girls.

 Seeing these pictures of Ioana reminds me of Ethel Granger, the lady who owns the title of the Women with the World’s Smallest Waist in the Guinness Book of World Records:

Ethel Granger wore tight corsets day and night for years during the 1920s to achieve her extraordinary 13 inch waist, after marrying her husband William Arnold Granger who encouraged her to do so. William had a fetish for corsets and encouraged the pain and suffering of women for fashion, an idea which quickly transferred over to his wife.

How much suffering should a woman really go through to achieve her desired look? How far would you go to look good, and is this abnormal waist even attractive? Let me know what you think!

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Candy Pink Jeans: Hot or Not?

Now, these candy pink jeans have been popping up in the fashion news quite a lot recently, and I really can’t decide if I’m loving or loathing them. On the one hand, I like a girl who can make a statement with bright colours and get away with it. On the other hand, I can’t help thinking these are the kind of jeans which only look good on the likes of ‘I only eat salad and have time to spend hours at the gym with my personal trainer every day’ Eva Longoria, and not on your average, size 12 ‘I joined the gym and never have the time to go’ me.

6133836893 b698bff42a Candy Pink Jeans: Hot or Not?

So what do we think, girls? Is this look going to be hot or not this summer? All I know is, these girly jeans might look good on the likes of Lauren Conrad, but for fear of walking around looking like an ice cream this summer, I definitely won’t be buying myself a pair!


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Confusion about sizes

Maybe I had eaten too many Snickers candy bars, maybe the sugar was getting to my head. But I started to think. It makes absolutely no sense to call a small candy bar “fun size.” I can understand mini, bite size, and king size. But fun size? What’s fun about less candy?

The same idea occurred to me about clothing. I do like the idea of “plus size” clothing, since the same styles do not look good on skinny, anorexic runway models as they do on a hearty, bustuous size 12 Marilyn Monroe. But after a certain number of Xs attached to that L, it starts to get confusing. So, here’s my suggestion for universal sizes to be used ’round the globe (everything’s made in China anyways, so I guess I’ll just petition the Republic of China with my idea):

XS – S – M – L – XL – XL² – “wrap yourself up in a bedsheet” – “just stay at home”


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Women’s Lib: More Freedom of Speech or of Body?

347647512 4c5db1aeb8 Womens Lib: More Freedom of Speech or of Body?

I swear, I’m not that old. But when I go out at the weekends – or like I did on New Year’s Eve – I can’t help but shake my head in shame at all the young girls on the streets. These poor things are dressing like complete idiots (or like they’re going to an audition in the adult film industry).

Sure, back in my day we were a little risqué, showed a little shoulder, rolled our stockings down…. There’s something to be said for possessing a mysterious quality, a charm that doesn’t bare all (to all on the high street), leaving a little something to look forward to when you land that first date with a swell guy.

Does women’s liberation mean that we have the right to vote and freedom of speech? Or the right to get smashed and freedom to stagger around in a mini skirt and no pants? Honestly, girls. If you want respect, you have to respect yourselves first. Sadly, I even agree with the Daily Mail on this one.

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Women’s Rights? Spandex Ain’t One Of ‘Em.

2245595960 14c483e3ea Womens Rights? Spandex Aint One Of Em.

There are no words...

Even after years of seeing literally everything in the streets of London – from utterly smashed girls stumbling around in 7-inch heels on Saturday night to half-smashed guys flopping around whilst streaking at football matches (why do most British past times involve alcohol and nudity?) – I never cease to be abhorred by bad spandex. There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to spandex. It should rather be “one size fits skinny” or like the warning labels on your Christmas lights (“for indoor use only”), spandex should definitely be sold with a large warning tag: “for gym use only”. Maybe if you’re a super hero then you can get away with wearing all spandex; but then again, they also wear knickers on the outside of their costumes. Don’t go taking fashion tips from Batman.

But the most shocking thing, ladies, is that YOU buy this odd, elastic substance and even dare to wear it in public. Forgive me for being sexist, but don’t we have a wee bit more fashion sense than men? Isn’t there any pride in not baring all, isn’t there outright shame and disgrace in being caught wearing a material that’s paper-thin and skin tight? Actually, that’s a pretty good rule of thumb: if you wouldn’t wear body paint, don’t wear spandex.

What do these people not understand about spandex? It’s not a miracle substance, it’s not shapewear. It can’t suck in your rolls of fat nor defy gravity and keep your wobbly bits from bouncing about.

Please, I implore you. Stop the spandex madness and petition for its removal from the face of the earth. It should be gathered and ceremoniously burned as a celebration of human dignity.

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My Hero.

Just had to send some love to TBSE — this guy writes really candid, funny, 100%-true stuff. But at the same time, doesn’t strike me as someone who would embrace styrafoam, cuss out organic-product buyers and lament the fact that Bush can’t run for a third term. (It’s true, there really is no law against a 3-term presidency in the states, but George Washington just wanted to set a good example.)

The paragraph that made my day (dissing second hand clothing):

You don’t order half-empty beer bottles and you don’t buy apple cores- wear your own clothes, jerk off. And don’t use Axe either, I walked into my apartment and my downstairs neighbors used so much of that shit, the stairs smelled like a GQ magazine. AND don’t get GQ magazine or those Muscle Fitness magazines or any magazine filled with shirtless dudes. Who are these mags appealing to? Don’t gay dudes just get Firemen Calendars and just call it a year? I obviously don’t know how this works


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